Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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