New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
