My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
