my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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