Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
