I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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