omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
