Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
