I just made out with a guy for $7.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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