did you get engaged???
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize