You smell like a Billy Joel song
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Dignity is for republicans.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
