so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize