At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
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