My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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