Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
