i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
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