i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
