my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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