Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
