sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Sober January is a disaster.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
