We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
