Sponge bath it is.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize