Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
