these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
