Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just threw up on my dentist
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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