yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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