You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize