which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
