addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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