there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
