i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
