is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
