I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
