the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
