I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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