Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
