I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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