Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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