her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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