More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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