FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
