If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
