I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Betty ford says i'm here all night
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
