"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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