Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
