i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
