Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
