She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
