im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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