saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
All I want is dick and wine.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
