Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
