JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
