He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
