The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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